Whoa, nelly! I almost missed blogging in August entirely! This month has been a flurry of activity, with my time split nearly evenly between two states, two realities that are pretty much two entirely different worlds.
August is also a hard month for me emotionally. August 9th marked the third anniversary of my dad's death, and I was grappling with missing him as memories washed over me. Some were good, some were not so good, but they all made me miss Pop a lot. I had so many thoughts and feelings, but the words just weren't coming and I couldn't bring myself to posting anything about it here.
It was harder for me this year than I expected, and the grief over the anniversary hit me a day early…I think a big part of that is the fact that it was the first year I wasn't with my mom and siblings. The weather was pretty dreary, which just compounds things when it seems like the sky is crying.
I spent some time looking back over blog posts I wrote about Pop and grief, and that helped pick me up a little bit. Every time I really start feeling sorry for myself and missing Pop, thinking about his attitude and perspective on life kind of slaps me up the side of the head and says, “STOP MOPING! Look for the positives. Be grateful for the time we had. This isn’t how I would want you to feel when you remember me!” But sometimes I just can’t help it and the tears just flow…
I posted this status and photo on facebook on the 9th:
...missing and remembering my dad on the third anniversary of his death and doing my best to follow his example to embrace every day I’m given, even if it is sometimes through tears…
I went from sipping my coffee basking in the serenely calm mornings at our fishing site in Alaska to a hectic schedule in the land of lists and appointments, returning to teaching, Karamea's first day of school, four back to school nights, school supply shopping, and catching up with family and friends. Whew. This is the lifestyle we have chosen, and I wouldn't have it any other way, but the transition is always a bit of a challenge.
August is also a hard month for me emotionally. August 9th marked the third anniversary of my dad's death, and I was grappling with missing him as memories washed over me. Some were good, some were not so good, but they all made me miss Pop a lot. I had so many thoughts and feelings, but the words just weren't coming and I couldn't bring myself to posting anything about it here.
It was harder for me this year than I expected, and the grief over the anniversary hit me a day early…I think a big part of that is the fact that it was the first year I wasn't with my mom and siblings. The weather was pretty dreary, which just compounds things when it seems like the sky is crying.
I spent some time looking back over blog posts I wrote about Pop and grief, and that helped pick me up a little bit. Every time I really start feeling sorry for myself and missing Pop, thinking about his attitude and perspective on life kind of slaps me up the side of the head and says, “STOP MOPING! Look for the positives. Be grateful for the time we had. This isn’t how I would want you to feel when you remember me!” But sometimes I just can’t help it and the tears just flow…
I posted this status and photo on facebook on the 9th:
...missing and remembering my dad on the third anniversary of his death and doing my best to follow his example to embrace every day I’m given, even if it is sometimes through tears…
So there you have it. I'm hoping that I'll have more time and energy to write in September...
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