Third Time's a Charm

For a few days, I have been harboring the notion that Merrick just might be our happiest baby yet. His smiles are absolutely huge, his eyes light up, and quite often a squeal of glee punctuates his joyful moments. Seeing his little face beaming up at me at 4:45 this morning made me realize something.

Maybe it isn't that Merrick is our happiest baby...
Maybe it is just that I'm the happiest mama I have ever been...

In the nearly four years of being a mom, I have finally gained 

...the ability to look past the sleep deprived stupor and truly see this little baby staring up at me whose heart is filled with nothing more than joy. 

...the ability to own up to my shortcomings as an individual and parent, yet still feel comfortable in my own skin. 

...experience enough to be able to put little worries aside and realize that kids are, for the most part, pretty tough and that the little things I used to freak out stress about are normal.  

...the knowledge that this too shall pass and that he will be a walking, talking little boy before we know it. With that in mind, I can easily look past the challenges and fully savor the pleasures, for soon this time in our life will just be a distant memory...

It's also probably a little because I am well aware of the fact that we are now done having children, and that nothing short of divine intervention or adoption will give me the chance to experience this kind of bliss this side of heaven. (Of course, I will relish in the babyhood of future nieces and nephews, but even though my heart will be bursting with love, it won't be the same as spending every waking (and wish-I-were-sleeping) moment caring for a little life.

All I know is that I'm soaking in every moment of babyhood the third time around, and that my heart is eternally grateful for the loving family I have been blessed with.